Why do people cheat?
For sex...yes.
For affection...yes.
To feel desired...yes.
Why do people need those things outside the confines of their relationship?
My guess would be that the relationship is lacking them somehow.
It's not a blame thing...it's not an exoneration thing...it's just a fact.
Some people are just not meant to be together.
I cheated for a number of reasons. My ex was the first man I ever let my Freak Flag fly with, but once we got married it was all "You're my wife now, I can't do that with you." No one likes a limp Freak Flag drooping in the wind, a Freak Flag is meant to fly.
Affair sex is free and exciting. You can do whatever you want, because who's going to judge you? The other unhappily married person in the room who is currently balls deep inside you? Probably not because (a) that would be slightly hypocritical and (b) then you probably won't be rushing to meet him at the local La Quinta Inn on your lunch break for much longer.
But affairs are complicated, and unless you end up in a long-term extramarital relationship, the sex is never fulfilling enough. It's like a drug - you're always chasing that high.
What's the point, Fyre?
I'm getting there...chill baby baby chill...
Some people are never meant to be monogamous, this is true. They will never be happy in a traditional monogamous relationship, they will always cheat...which goes back to my earlier point about some people not meaning to be together.
But some of us are great in the right relationship.
Some of us thrive in the right relationship.
My Freak Flag has found a permanent home and he planted his right next to mine. I am not lacking affection and sex. I am having affair sex in my marriage, which is the best possible combination for me.
LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY, BABY!
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Friday, August 22, 2014
Day 6: Sex Facts
In honor of Day 6, here are 6 facts about sex:
- Spouses may have similar DNA
- Watching rom-coms may help strengthen marriage
- Women can make their voice "sexier," but men can't
- You’re less likely to get grossed out when aroused (thank goodness)
- Love is good for your bones (I know one "bone" it's great for!)
- Old people do it, too (oh GAWD, am I considered old now???)
30 Days of Intimacy Recap (with lots of GIFs)
We began August 1 and had a great run until I got sick...then he went away for business and it was all over...
So we began again this week.
So we began again this week.
And overall it's been a great week.
Because sex makes people happy.
And we are both happier than usual. So I asked him if he thinks this has been a positive experience...
And then I was all...
And so now I need to go take a shower.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Day 3: Why I Smile
I climb into bed, exhausted and ready to play Angry Birds until I pass out...but Mr. Swinging Dick has a different plan for me.
*cue the sex music on Pandora*
(yes, we have a sex music channel on Pandora)
And I'm all:
*cue the sex music on Pandora*
(yes, we have a sex music channel on Pandora)
And I'm all:
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Starting Over: Day 2
My challenge, my rules.
Day 2 was full of flirty instant messages:
Him: What's the plan for tonight?
Me: More of the sex, please.
I know how to talk dirty to him.
You know how when you roll into bed at the end of the night and you are so tired you cannot even think about anything at all but you still kiss your lover and you both smile and next thing you know you're both naked and there's lube everywhere and you're having sex? That.
Day 2 was full of flirty instant messages:
Him: What's the plan for tonight?
Me: More of the sex, please.
I know how to talk dirty to him.
You know how when you roll into bed at the end of the night and you are so tired you cannot even think about anything at all but you still kiss your lover and you both smile and next thing you know you're both naked and there's lube everywhere and you're having sex? That.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
10 Habits of SMUG happy couples...
I read this article:
The 10 Habits Of Happy Couples As Told By A Psychiatrist. #7 Is A Must Do For Everyone.
The 10 Habits Of Happy Couples As Told By A Psychiatrist. #7 Is A Must Do For Everyone.
And OhEmGee you guys, we do all of them.
Obviously they are no-brainers...but here's the thing, my ex and I spent 17 years failing at 3-8. He was so bad about the mistrust thing, when I would tell him I loved him, he would ask why I was saying it.
Obviously they are no-brainers...but here's the thing, my ex and I spent 17 years failing at 3-8. He was so bad about the mistrust thing, when I would tell him I loved him, he would ask why I was saying it.
And let's not even talk about his awesome ability to always walk a quarter mile ahead of me.
Always.
Even on date night.
Always.
Even on date night.
But back to now...
#1 is so vital to a healthy sex life: Go to bed at the same time.
Think about it.
He is downstairs watching The Walking Dead and you are upstairs reading Gone Girl...there is no chance of spontaneous sex happening.
But if you are both upstairs watching TV or reading together, he may accidentally brush your leg with his foot or put an arm around you...and you're halfway to spontaneous sex (at least I am). As I am fond of saying: It's not easy being so easy.
Being in a mutually satisfying relationship takes some work, but this list is a great start. Anything else you guys would add?
Friday, August 1, 2014
Wahhhh!
Yeah yeah, I know.
So we initiated our own challenge (we never get sick of these): Thirty Days of Intimacy
We are going to set aside at least 15 minutes a day for an intimate act; the goal is intercourse, of course of course...but we understand some days we may to settle for making out or an old-fashioned hand job.
It begins tonight.
So we initiated our own challenge (we never get sick of these): Thirty Days of Intimacy
We are going to set aside at least 15 minutes a day for an intimate act; the goal is intercourse, of course of course...but we understand some days we may to settle for making out or an old-fashioned hand job.
It begins tonight.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Advil PM Sex
Sounds sexy, right?
We go to bed early, on a night we have no responsibility (kids). Then we each pop an Advil PM and start going at it. While we're fucking, the Advil PM kicks in, but we're too worked up to notice. Then, after we both cum, we fall into the most peaceful post-orgasm Advil PM induced coma.
Best sleep ever.
We go to bed early, on a night we have no responsibility (kids). Then we each pop an Advil PM and start going at it. While we're fucking, the Advil PM kicks in, but we're too worked up to notice. Then, after we both cum, we fall into the most peaceful post-orgasm Advil PM induced coma.
Best sleep ever.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Can you have ladylike orgasms?
What is "ladylike behavior?"
I burp...I fart...I talk with food in my mouth.
Some people are offended by this.
To each his or her own.
But I also speak my mind...I don't take shit from bullies...I stand up for what I believe in.
Some people are really offended by this.
Fuck them.
Perhaps being "ladylike" was held in high regard once upon a time, but so was owning slaves.
Women have come a long way since then: we can vote, we can head huge corporations...in some states we can even marry other women.
Women support themselves now.
Women support their children now.
Women even support their men now.
We have achieved equal rights in nearly every arena.
But are we still held to a double standard sexually?
I know there is an entire subculture of people who have issues with sexual relations outside marriage and for purposes other than procreation, I am not referring to them. I am talking about the rest of us: Sexually Healthy America.
Men still like to play with the whores (who doesn't?), but they don't only marry the angels.
If men only married virgins these days, there would be slim pickings out there. Science has proven that women are sexually dynamic creatures, rather than non-reactive, empty vessels designed just to carry fetuses...and we have embraced that notion. In a world that regards simplicity as a virtue, a woman who comes with a verbal instruction manual ("Touch it like this.") is a huge boon. One hundred years ago, we were still fighting for equal rights as citizens; nowadays studies are conducted at major universities, all over the world, just to find out more about our sexual needs. The word "orgasm" is no longer a dirty word, it's the golden ring prize in the sexual arena. Women don't have to suppress their sexuality to be worthy of love, sometimes they are loved for their sexuality. Without embracing our burning desire for sex, my darling husband and I never would have met. That doesn't cheapen our relationship, that honesty makes it stronger.
Can you even imagine living as people did, fifty years ago, unable to speak openly about what you enjoy in bed? Can you imagine saying "no" to someone you really like when you want to say "yes" with every fiber of your being...because of social norms? Can you imagine marrying someone before you have found out if you are even sexually compatible, because "ladies don't do that?"
Is ladylike behavior in danger of extinction or shall we redefine it to fit today's woman? Perhaps today's lady is someone who can conduct herself with dignity in public but is a master of dirty talk in private. Perhaps today's lady is someone full of honor and integrity in the workplace but is a vixen with a kinky streak in the bedroom.
How are you redefining ladylike behavior?
I burp...I fart...I talk with food in my mouth.
Some people are offended by this.
To each his or her own.
But I also speak my mind...I don't take shit from bullies...I stand up for what I believe in.
Some people are really offended by this.
Fuck them.
Perhaps being "ladylike" was held in high regard once upon a time, but so was owning slaves.
Women have come a long way since then: we can vote, we can head huge corporations...in some states we can even marry other women.
Women support themselves now.
Women support their children now.
Women even support their men now.
We have achieved equal rights in nearly every arena.
But are we still held to a double standard sexually?
I know there is an entire subculture of people who have issues with sexual relations outside marriage and for purposes other than procreation, I am not referring to them. I am talking about the rest of us: Sexually Healthy America.
Men still like to play with the whores (who doesn't?), but they don't only marry the angels.
If men only married virgins these days, there would be slim pickings out there. Science has proven that women are sexually dynamic creatures, rather than non-reactive, empty vessels designed just to carry fetuses...and we have embraced that notion. In a world that regards simplicity as a virtue, a woman who comes with a verbal instruction manual ("Touch it like this.") is a huge boon. One hundred years ago, we were still fighting for equal rights as citizens; nowadays studies are conducted at major universities, all over the world, just to find out more about our sexual needs. The word "orgasm" is no longer a dirty word, it's the golden ring prize in the sexual arena. Women don't have to suppress their sexuality to be worthy of love, sometimes they are loved for their sexuality. Without embracing our burning desire for sex, my darling husband and I never would have met. That doesn't cheapen our relationship, that honesty makes it stronger.
Can you even imagine living as people did, fifty years ago, unable to speak openly about what you enjoy in bed? Can you imagine saying "no" to someone you really like when you want to say "yes" with every fiber of your being...because of social norms? Can you imagine marrying someone before you have found out if you are even sexually compatible, because "ladies don't do that?"
Is ladylike behavior in danger of extinction or shall we redefine it to fit today's woman? Perhaps today's lady is someone who can conduct herself with dignity in public but is a master of dirty talk in private. Perhaps today's lady is someone full of honor and integrity in the workplace but is a vixen with a kinky streak in the bedroom.
How are you redefining ladylike behavior?
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
I am a Fucking Feminist!
I was taught that girls can do anything boys can do.
I was raised to believe that my XX chromosomes are not a handicap.
I have proven that a woman can kick some serious ass in a male-dominated field.
Do I consider myself a feminist?
Abso-fucking-lutely!
Women deserve the same recognition as men.
Women deserve the same pay as men.
Women deserve the same rights as men.
But we are not men.
According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of feminism is "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes." Excuse me, I do not see a goddamn thing in there about hairy armpits and man-bashing.
Wait a second, does this mean that I can show some cleavage, fuck like a siren and still be a feminist?
Yes I can!
I didn't see anything about the consensual sexual arena in that definition, did you? If I enjoy being tied up and spanked (and I do!) but deny myself that pleasure because it's somehow degrading to women, am I not being untrue to the principles of feminism? One of the founding principles of feminism is a woman's autonomy over her own body, including the right to cum any old way she sees fits.
Sexual roles are just that, roles. Playing Professor and Student does not automatically earn an honorary Ph.D. for one of us. One of the greatest achievements of feminism is our ability as women to ask for what we want in the bedroom. Because of feminism, we have earned the right to own our sexuality. To submit to someone's dominance, to revel in it, in a consensual sexual arena does not automatically make one spineless. I believe it makes one enlightened, self-aware and probably pretty damn sexually satisfied.
I was raised to believe that my XX chromosomes are not a handicap.
I have proven that a woman can kick some serious ass in a male-dominated field.
Do I consider myself a feminist?
Abso-fucking-lutely!
Women deserve the same recognition as men.
Women deserve the same pay as men.
Women deserve the same rights as men.
But we are not men.
According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of feminism is "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes." Excuse me, I do not see a goddamn thing in there about hairy armpits and man-bashing.
Wait a second, does this mean that I can show some cleavage, fuck like a siren and still be a feminist?
Yes I can!
I didn't see anything about the consensual sexual arena in that definition, did you? If I enjoy being tied up and spanked (and I do!) but deny myself that pleasure because it's somehow degrading to women, am I not being untrue to the principles of feminism? One of the founding principles of feminism is a woman's autonomy over her own body, including the right to cum any old way she sees fits.
Sexual roles are just that, roles. Playing Professor and Student does not automatically earn an honorary Ph.D. for one of us. One of the greatest achievements of feminism is our ability as women to ask for what we want in the bedroom. Because of feminism, we have earned the right to own our sexuality. To submit to someone's dominance, to revel in it, in a consensual sexual arena does not automatically make one spineless. I believe it makes one enlightened, self-aware and probably pretty damn sexually satisfied.
"If I choose to wax my pussy bald, it's not to conform to some misogynistic belief of what is sexy...it's because I love the way it feels when I fuck!" ~ Fyre, 2011I have never viewed my femininity as a curse, more often than not, it's a blessing. Anyone who claims that women are the weaker sex has never benefited from the myriad of rewards a pretty smile can bring you.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Sweet Talker
PSD has a cold, no biggie but he's pretty run-down. Last night, we went to bed early, around 10 pm; when I offered a bedtime handjob, he declined. But at 2 in the morning, I got an unsolicited "my cock is awake even though the rest of me is not" fuck.
He just IM'd me to tell me he's feeling a lot better today, I asked what we were doing tonight.
PSD: Tonight Glee, study and R&R - with a little dirty playtime
Me: yes sir
PSD: And you have been a bad girl too.
Me: have I?
Me: are you sure you have the energy to prove that?
PSD: Enough to take care of you.
Me: are you sure?
Me: you'll probably have to tie me down to make sure
PSD: Oh yes
Me: I fucking love you
PSD: And I fucking love you too
*Edited to add:
Me: Happy 3 month anniversary!
PSD: Happy anniversary - last night I thought to myself that I have never gone to bed angry or upset with you.
Me: the same
PSD: I am so happy :)
Me: I am so happy too :)
PSD: And you will be even happier later *wink*
Me: Promise?
PSD: Yes
Me: whooohoooooo
Read above: Happily-in-love mushpot!
He just IM'd me to tell me he's feeling a lot better today, I asked what we were doing tonight.
PSD: Tonight Glee, study and R&R - with a little dirty playtime
Me: yes sir
PSD: And you have been a bad girl too.
Me: have I?
Me: are you sure you have the energy to prove that?
PSD: Enough to take care of you.
Me: are you sure?
Me: you'll probably have to tie me down to make sure
PSD: Oh yes
Me: I fucking love you
PSD: And I fucking love you too
*Edited to add:
Me: Happy 3 month anniversary!
PSD: Happy anniversary - last night I thought to myself that I have never gone to bed angry or upset with you.
Me: the same
PSD: I am so happy :)
Me: I am so happy too :)
PSD: And you will be even happier later *wink*
Me: Promise?
PSD: Yes
Me: whooohoooooo
Read above: Happily-in-love mushpot!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Performance vs. Passion
Male friend: Oh, I'd bang the hell out of her. She's such a spinner.
Me: But she doesn't seem like she'd be passionate.
Male friend: Huh?
Me: *sigh*
I would like to go on record as saying this: Sex is not only about technique.
If you don't know what I am talking about, I feel for you.
Think back on the best sexual experience you have ever had.
Did it seem as smooth as a carefully edited porno?
Or was it wild, crazy and a little bit sloppy?
God, I hope for your sake you picked the second one...if not, you are missing out.
Perfection is never boring <@> (that is the Snark Mark, which indicates the prior comment was said sarcastically). Who wouldn't want a carefully scripted sexual encounter <@> (let's just assume that everything I say has a hint of snark and leave it at that)? It's so gratifying to know exactly what is coming, how you're supposed to react to it and how long it is going to last. Then you can practice your fake O face in front of the mirror in your free time.
I had sex with someone once, someone I had wanted to fuck for a long time. Afterward, I was gossiping with a girlfriend and she asked how it was. When I said it was good, she asked me "just good?" So I explained to her that technically I had been properly fucked...but there was no spark, no passion. Yes, he knew which hole to put it in, he knew exactly how hard to thrust, yes I got off and that was about it.
The difference between good sex and great sex is that spark. It is the difference between knowing exactly how hard to thrust and pushing it just a teensy bit further because you are lost in the sensations. It is the impulse to kiss, gnaw, bite, claw and wrap yourself around your partner. It is the difference between looking like a sweaty yet satisfied mess and looking like a perfectly coiffed yet bored to death porn star. It is the impulse to pull hair, smack asses and collapse into a completely satiated puddle at the end, screaming, "Fuck the dismount!"
That moment when you give yourself over to the feeling, when you stop worrying about how you look, if you're doing it right, what anyone thinks and you are just IN the moment...THAT is the passion I am talking about.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
I am going to marry this man...
Him: No kids until Monday
Me: Ooooh, Daddy...whatever will we do to entertain ourselves?????
Him: Whatever do you mean, me love?
Me: *batting eyes furiously*
Him: giddy up! Yeehaw!!!
Me: Ooooh?
Him: I may have to break you in order to tame the wild beast
Him: I will need rope, a tube of lube and a jackhammer - stat!
Me: Yay!
Him: Don't worry, the jackhammer will be ribbed for her pleasure - hehehe
Him: brought to you by Carl's Jr.
Me: Ooooh, Daddy...whatever will we do to entertain ourselves?????
Him: Whatever do you mean, me love?
Me: *batting eyes furiously*
Him: giddy up! Yeehaw!!!
Me: Ooooh?
Him: I may have to break you in order to tame the wild beast
Him: I will need rope, a tube of lube and a jackhammer - stat!
Me: Yay!
Him: Don't worry, the jackhammer will be ribbed for her pleasure - hehehe
Him: brought to you by Carl's Jr.
GUARANTEED!
"Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time." ~Tommy Boy
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Tuesday, December 28, 2010
The Last Fuck of 2010
Me: Tonight is our last chance to have sex in 2010.
Him: No.
Me: Yes.
Him: No, I will be home on Friday.
Me: I will have my period by then.
Him: [wraps arms around me] Anal counts.
Him: No.
Me: Yes.
Him: No, I will be home on Friday.
Me: I will have my period by then.
Him: [wraps arms around me] Anal counts.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
My Life: The Porno
I've always said that my life story is best suited to a cartoon, silly and full of colorful characters. The truth is, it's probably best suited to a porno. Silliness and colorful characters translate to porno...but all this sex would just be creepy as a cartoon.
Some of the highlights...think of it as a teaser trailer for the movie.
- I had an affair with a married man. One night he called and detoured me while I was en route to a first date. I met him at his office, where he fucked me and then sent me off to meet my date. I spent the entire dinner making idle chit-chat about who-knows-what with proof of his "love" making a pool in my panties.
- One gorgeous winter evening, a date and I were bar-hopping through downtown, wandering in and out of dark, hidden areas designed for kissing and groping. We went to the roof of a parking garage for a better vantage point of the city and to enjoy the beautiful weather. We ended up having sex out in the open, standing up in one of the parking spaces. Twice.
- I went out with a friend and his girlfriend one evening. We got home late, a little tipsy...and at least two of us were very horny. If you guessed that I was one of the two, you are correct. I climbed into bed next to him, and we had anal sex in front of his girlfriend, who simply watched from the other side of the bed.
My mind is all over the place. Current events, cooking, work, school, a vacation that's still 9 month away, it never ends. My brain never shuts off...but it has one constant: sex. Sometimes I joke that I should be a teenaged boy, I think about sex so much. If we have ever met, I have given at least a moment's thought to how you kiss or what you'd be like in bed.
Having sex always on my mind does have its benefits, such as the ability to go from 0-60 in about three seconds. Maybe this is the reason that life as part of a committed couple is just as hot, if not hotter sometimes, than single life. We live together, we trust one another...there is no more wooing necessary. We don't have to be on our best behavior for the kids anymore. And if I am almost always ready to go, imagine the possibilities.
It's not at all uncommon to find myself bent over the washing machine while the kids play outside for a few minutes. I was up at 4:45 am and started planning this blog post in my mind, by 5:10 I had to wake him up for sex. More than once, I have been rudely interrupted by a cock pressing against me while I was washing the dishes. I commented to a friend that I have had sex more times this month than I did in 2005...and we're closing in on 2005 and 2006 combined.
My porno would definitely not be an AVN award-winning porno, it would be underappreciated in its time. Most likely, it would be just campy enough to become a cult classic. There have been some amazingly hot experiences in my life, but there have been just as many goofy experiences. What makes it porno-worthy is my ability to own my sexuality. I don't hide from my sexuality. I pepper my conversations with innuendo, I relate sexual anecdotes as easily as anecdotes about my daughter and I probably make a lot of people uncomfortable. Some people would call me brazen, but it's just honesty...I believe it's natural, normal and healthy to feel this way.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Sex Drought
We haven't had sex since 6:30 yesterday morning.
That's almost 36 hours...I'm finding it hard to carry on.
That's almost 36 hours...I'm finding it hard to carry on.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Don't Judge Me
I might be in love, but I haven't gone soft.
I love this man.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Girl Talk
Some excerpts from a recent marathon IM conversation with one of my favorite girlies.
Enjoy!
Her (1:22:17 PM): so i need some advice from the sex queen
Me (1:23:15 PM): LOL
Her (1:23:21 PM): no seriously
Me (1:23:23 PM): do I get a crown?
Me (1:23:27 PM): a giant cockring?
Her (1:23:28 PM): hahaha! YES!
Her (1:23:36 PM): I will make you a cockring and condom crown
Her (1:24:42 PM): we were having sex, whatever...kinda vanilla
Her (1:24:57 PM): so i stopped him and i was like "uh, what's going on?
why aren't you into this?"
Her (1:25:20 PM): mind you, we've talked plenty of times about what we
like in bed and that both of us like it pretty rough
Her (1:26:01 PM): so he goes - "I just dont want to hurt you and i just
thought..."
Her (1:26:12 PM): so i did what any self-respecting borderline S&M girl
would do
Her (1:26:15 PM): smacked him
Me (1:26:20 PM): awesome
Her (1:27:38 PM): but we talked last night and a couple things came out
Me (1:27:53 PM): OK
Her (1:27:55 PM): He really likes me and he's afraid he will scare
me off if he goes that one tick too far
Me (1:28:06 PM): that's what safe words are for
Her (1:29:38 PM): we have messed around before and left him bleeding
so i dont know why he thinks im not into it
Me (1:29:57 PM): wait, stop
Me (1:30:04 PM): bleeding?
Me (1:30:14 PM): this man needs shin guards and a cup to have sex
with you
Me (1:32:20 PM): ...if he's a dirty bird
Me (1:32:25 PM): and you are a dirty bird
Me (1:32:27 PM): you're a fit
Me (1:32:36 PM): so he'll be happy and want you to meet his mom anyway
Me (1:32:39 PM): that's love
Me (1:32:57 PM): our conversations should have an anonymous blog
all their own
Her (1:32:59 PM): he's been afraid of taking it to that next level
because
Her (1:33:02 PM): and i quote
Her (1:33:07 PM): NO SHIT
Her (1:33:09 PM): HAHAHA
Her (1:34:29 PM): "im always afraid of taking a relationship to the
next level because, if i really like a girl and the sex isn't viable, it's
like 'ok-friend zone you go'. But you're different and i love how innocent
and close we are and how our relationship is based on friendship and all
things that make us so amazing together that i dont want the sex to be bad
and overshadow"
Her (1:34:38 PM): I was like "WHAT. THE. FUCK."
Me (1:39:06 PM): I so understand what he means
Me (1:39:23 PM): that's why I never waited past the 3rd date to
fuck someone
Me (1:39:42 PM): so I couldn't get emotionally attached in case the
sex sucked
Her (1:36:12 PM): i kinda wanna do something to make him get the
message that his dick is there for my entertainment
Me (1:40:20 PM): tie his dumb ass up
Me (1:40:50 PM): then, simply get him hard and use him
Me (1:40:54 PM): several times
Her (1:41:01 PM): HAHAHAHA
Me (1:41:11 PM): no guy won't be in love after that
Me (1:41:20 PM): and he'll get the whole "for my amusement" thing
Her (2:01:20 PM): hm, can you think of anything else i could do?
Me (2:02:13 PM): in all seriousness, no
Me (2:02:19 PM): if you have had the talk
Me (2:02:30 PM): all that's left to do is act
Me (2:02:49 PM): and that's the most direct way to get across what
you need to without anyone taking it the wrong way
Me (2:03:01 PM): their egos are more fragile than their sacks
Me (2:03:33 PM): so you have to make sure he's getting something
good (fucked) out of it
Me (2:03:38 PM): or else his ego will be shattered
Me (2:03:43 PM): and he'll retreat more
Her (2:05:00 PM): he needs to understand he doesnt have to treat me
with kid gloves and its ok to smack me around a bit
Her (2:05:06 PM): i need to get him drunk
Her (2:36:38 PM): he had just broken up with someone who wrecked his
heart, so he has a lot of hang ups and can't seem to get out of his own head
Me (2:39:29 PM): so you know this, because you are his friend
Me (2:39:36 PM): it's not some guy you met on plentyoffish.com
Me (2:39:40 PM): so you have two options
Me (2:39:58 PM): I know you don't want to be the transitional girl
Me (2:40:07 PM): the one he uses to get over her
Me (2:40:11 PM): and he doesn't want you to be
Me (2:40:19 PM): which is why he's being such a wuss
Me (2:40:34 PM): so you have to be understanding and be his friend
Me (2:40:37 PM): and get him through this
Me (2:40:42 PM): without being a doormat
Her (2:40:50 PM): true story
Me (2:40:53 PM): yup
Her (2:40:57 PM): and i do that with restraints
Me (2:41:00 PM): exactly
Her (2:41:02 PM): possibly some smacking
Me (2:41:04 PM): god, I love you
Her (2:45:42 PM): i told him all i want for christmas are his balls and
a riding crop
Me (2:46:13 PM): that's hot
Me (2:46:21 PM): a riding crop with a bell on it
Her (3:30:26 PM): and i see him holding back that last little bit and
it worries me that i may never see that side..which translates in the
bedroom
Her (3:33:20 PM): i dont think the sex will get fixed until he can let
go completely
Her (3:33:25 PM): just stop fighting it
Her (3:33:32 PM): which will make me less apprehensive
Me (3:33:36 PM): you need to stop overthinking it
Her (3:33:37 PM): which will lead to awesome sex
Me (3:33:39 PM): and just show him
Her (3:33:49 PM):
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Me (3:33:59 PM): are you screaming or seeing the light?
Her (3:34:32 PM): screaming
Her (3:34:40 PM): i literally saw my brain and uterus cramp up
Her (3:34:44 PM): simultaneously
Me (3:34:45 PM): Neuroses are contagious, like herpes.
Her (3:36:07 PM): HAHAHA
Me (3:36:28 PM): he acts a little weird
Me (3:36:31 PM): then you wonder why
Me (3:36:35 PM): then you overthink it
Me (3:36:49 PM): then he gets neurotic about what you're thinking
Me (3:36:58 PM): so he starts acting weirder
Me (3:37:07 PM): see where this is going?
Her (3:40:56 PM): i do
Her (3:41:09 PM): as cyclical as chlamydia between lovers
Me (3:41:22 PM): LOL
Me (3:41:25 PM): yes
Her (3:44:52 PM): and here what i was thinking was i need him to fuck
my brains to scrambled eggs so i didnt think that way anymore
Her (3:44:54 PM): my bad
Me (3:45:18 PM): you still need to tie him up and use him like a
human dildo
Me (3:45:26 PM): #totallywinwin
Her (3:47:46 PM): ok good
Me (3:48:28 PM): yeah, no...that was never OUT of the equation
Me (3:48:33 PM): we just moved up to his head for a while
Her (3:48:38 PM): damn
Me (3:48:38 PM): his groin needed a rest
Me (3:49:03 PM): the men that are worth it
Me (3:49:21 PM): actually have a teensy tiny little connection from
their brains to their balls
Me (3:49:46 PM): so we need to romance them mentally as part of the
seduction
Me (3:49:53 PM): not just show them our tits
Me (3:50:01 PM): that works for guys we've picked up in bars
Me (3:58:18 PM): PSD's such a goofy bastard
Me (3:58:19 PM): I love it
Me (3:58:29 PM): we're doing it before the party
Me (3:58:32 PM): and I said something
Me (3:58:36 PM): I don't recall what
Me (3:58:44 PM): but it was a phrase from a song
Me (3:58:49 PM): and he just starts singing
Me (3:58:52 PM): while he's fucking me
Me (3:58:56 PM): and not some pop son
Me (3:59:10 PM): it was a line from Defying Gravity, from Wicked
Me (3:59:17 PM): and he was singing the song LOUD
Her (3:59:18 PM): HAHAHAHAHA
Me (3:59:20 PM): and fucking me
Her (3:59:22 PM): that is SO awesome
Me (3:59:25 PM): I love him.
Her (3:59:43 PM): one of the best moments with Mr. Slappy
Her (3:59:55 PM): we were making out on his bed and i was on top about
to go down
Her (4:00:02 PM): and he had his iTunes on Genuis random
Her (4:00:08 PM): guess what comes up
Me (4:00:14 PM): Love in an Elevator?
Her (4:00:17 PM): She's so lucky...
Her (4:00:20 PM): she's a start
Me (4:00:21 PM): hahahahaha
Her (4:00:26 PM): BRITNEY SPEARS
Me (4:00:38 PM): so tacky and yet so cute
Her (4:00:41 PM): he goes...."well, there goes my boner"
Her (4:00:54 PM): i just started laughing
Her (4:00:58 PM): so he tries to change it
Me (4:00:59 PM): I love that it's on his iTunes
Her (4:01:06 PM): he tries to change it
Her (4:01:08 PM): and it goes to
Her (4:01:18 PM): When you wish upon a staaaaaaaaaaaaar
Me (4:01:26 PM): hahahahahahaha
Her (4:01:30 PM): he's like "no no no, oh god, no no no"
Me (4:01:34 PM): does he have the little Mermaid in there too?
Her (4:01:43 PM): i would fall in love if he did
Her (4:22:44 PM): "darling it's better down where it's wetter take it
from me...."
Me (4:22:52 PM): hahahahahaha
Her (4:24:15 PM): go on and kiss that girl
Her (4:24:43 PM): we can go fathoms below!
Her (4:25:45 PM): Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Me (4:25:50 PM): OMG
Me (4:25:57 PM): Alan Menken is a pervert!
Enjoy!
Her (1:22:17 PM): so i need some advice from the sex queen
Me (1:23:15 PM): LOL
Her (1:23:21 PM): no seriously
Me (1:23:23 PM): do I get a crown?
Me (1:23:27 PM): a giant cockring?
Her (1:23:28 PM): hahaha! YES!
Her (1:23:36 PM): I will make you a cockring and condom crown
Her (1:24:42 PM): we were having sex, whatever...kinda vanilla
Her (1:24:57 PM): so i stopped him and i was like "uh, what's going on?
why aren't you into this?"
Her (1:25:20 PM): mind you, we've talked plenty of times about what we
like in bed and that both of us like it pretty rough
Her (1:26:01 PM): so he goes - "I just dont want to hurt you and i just
thought..."
Her (1:26:12 PM): so i did what any self-respecting borderline S&M girl
would do
Her (1:26:15 PM): smacked him
Me (1:26:20 PM): awesome
Her (1:27:38 PM): but we talked last night and a couple things came out
Me (1:27:53 PM): OK
Her (1:27:55 PM): He really likes me and he's afraid he will scare
me off if he goes that one tick too far
Me (1:28:06 PM): that's what safe words are for
Her (1:29:38 PM): we have messed around before and left him bleeding
so i dont know why he thinks im not into it
Me (1:29:57 PM): wait, stop
Me (1:30:04 PM): bleeding?
Me (1:30:14 PM): this man needs shin guards and a cup to have sex
with you
Me (1:32:20 PM): ...if he's a dirty bird
Me (1:32:25 PM): and you are a dirty bird
Me (1:32:27 PM): you're a fit
Me (1:32:36 PM): so he'll be happy and want you to meet his mom anyway
Me (1:32:39 PM): that's love
Me (1:32:57 PM): our conversations should have an anonymous blog
all their own
Her (1:32:59 PM): he's been afraid of taking it to that next level
because
Her (1:33:02 PM): and i quote
Her (1:33:07 PM): NO SHIT
Her (1:33:09 PM): HAHAHA
Her (1:34:29 PM): "im always afraid of taking a relationship to the
next level because, if i really like a girl and the sex isn't viable, it's
like 'ok-friend zone you go'. But you're different and i love how innocent
and close we are and how our relationship is based on friendship and all
things that make us so amazing together that i dont want the sex to be bad
and overshadow"
Her (1:34:38 PM): I was like "WHAT. THE. FUCK."
Me (1:39:06 PM): I so understand what he means
Me (1:39:23 PM): that's why I never waited past the 3rd date to
fuck someone
Me (1:39:42 PM): so I couldn't get emotionally attached in case the
sex sucked
Her (1:36:12 PM): i kinda wanna do something to make him get the
message that his dick is there for my entertainment
Me (1:40:20 PM): tie his dumb ass up
Me (1:40:50 PM): then, simply get him hard and use him
Me (1:40:54 PM): several times
Her (1:41:01 PM): HAHAHAHA
Me (1:41:11 PM): no guy won't be in love after that
Me (1:41:20 PM): and he'll get the whole "for my amusement" thing
Her (2:01:20 PM): hm, can you think of anything else i could do?
Me (2:02:13 PM): in all seriousness, no
Me (2:02:19 PM): if you have had the talk
Me (2:02:30 PM): all that's left to do is act
Me (2:02:49 PM): and that's the most direct way to get across what
you need to without anyone taking it the wrong way
Me (2:03:01 PM): their egos are more fragile than their sacks
Me (2:03:33 PM): so you have to make sure he's getting something
good (fucked) out of it
Me (2:03:38 PM): or else his ego will be shattered
Me (2:03:43 PM): and he'll retreat more
Her (2:05:00 PM): he needs to understand he doesnt have to treat me
with kid gloves and its ok to smack me around a bit
Her (2:05:06 PM): i need to get him drunk
Her (2:36:38 PM): he had just broken up with someone who wrecked his
heart, so he has a lot of hang ups and can't seem to get out of his own head
Me (2:39:29 PM): so you know this, because you are his friend
Me (2:39:36 PM): it's not some guy you met on plentyoffish.com
Me (2:39:40 PM): so you have two options
Me (2:39:58 PM): I know you don't want to be the transitional girl
Me (2:40:07 PM): the one he uses to get over her
Me (2:40:11 PM): and he doesn't want you to be
Me (2:40:19 PM): which is why he's being such a wuss
Me (2:40:34 PM): so you have to be understanding and be his friend
Me (2:40:37 PM): and get him through this
Me (2:40:42 PM): without being a doormat
Her (2:40:50 PM): true story
Me (2:40:53 PM): yup
Her (2:40:57 PM): and i do that with restraints
Me (2:41:00 PM): exactly
Her (2:41:02 PM): possibly some smacking
Me (2:41:04 PM): god, I love you
Her (2:45:42 PM): i told him all i want for christmas are his balls and
a riding crop
Me (2:46:13 PM): that's hot
Me (2:46:21 PM): a riding crop with a bell on it
Her (3:30:26 PM): and i see him holding back that last little bit and
it worries me that i may never see that side..which translates in the
bedroom
Her (3:33:20 PM): i dont think the sex will get fixed until he can let
go completely
Her (3:33:25 PM): just stop fighting it
Her (3:33:32 PM): which will make me less apprehensive
Me (3:33:36 PM): you need to stop overthinking it
Her (3:33:37 PM): which will lead to awesome sex
Me (3:33:39 PM): and just show him
Her (3:33:49 PM):
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Me (3:33:59 PM): are you screaming or seeing the light?
Her (3:34:32 PM): screaming
Her (3:34:40 PM): i literally saw my brain and uterus cramp up
Her (3:34:44 PM): simultaneously
Me (3:34:45 PM): Neuroses are contagious, like herpes.
Her (3:36:07 PM): HAHAHA
Me (3:36:28 PM): he acts a little weird
Me (3:36:31 PM): then you wonder why
Me (3:36:35 PM): then you overthink it
Me (3:36:49 PM): then he gets neurotic about what you're thinking
Me (3:36:58 PM): so he starts acting weirder
Me (3:37:07 PM): see where this is going?
Her (3:40:56 PM): i do
Her (3:41:09 PM): as cyclical as chlamydia between lovers
Me (3:41:22 PM): LOL
Me (3:41:25 PM): yes
Her (3:44:52 PM): and here what i was thinking was i need him to fuck
my brains to scrambled eggs so i didnt think that way anymore
Her (3:44:54 PM): my bad
Me (3:45:18 PM): you still need to tie him up and use him like a
human dildo
Me (3:45:26 PM): #totallywinwin
Her (3:47:46 PM): ok good
Me (3:48:28 PM): yeah, no...that was never OUT of the equation
Me (3:48:33 PM): we just moved up to his head for a while
Her (3:48:38 PM): damn
Me (3:48:38 PM): his groin needed a rest
Me (3:49:03 PM): the men that are worth it
Me (3:49:21 PM): actually have a teensy tiny little connection from
their brains to their balls
Me (3:49:46 PM): so we need to romance them mentally as part of the
seduction
Me (3:49:53 PM): not just show them our tits
Me (3:50:01 PM): that works for guys we've picked up in bars
Me (3:58:18 PM): PSD's such a goofy bastard
Me (3:58:19 PM): I love it
Me (3:58:29 PM): we're doing it before the party
Me (3:58:32 PM): and I said something
Me (3:58:36 PM): I don't recall what
Me (3:58:44 PM): but it was a phrase from a song
Me (3:58:49 PM): and he just starts singing
Me (3:58:52 PM): while he's fucking me
Me (3:58:56 PM): and not some pop son
Me (3:59:10 PM): it was a line from Defying Gravity, from Wicked
Me (3:59:17 PM): and he was singing the song LOUD
Her (3:59:18 PM): HAHAHAHAHA
Me (3:59:20 PM): and fucking me
Her (3:59:22 PM): that is SO awesome
Me (3:59:25 PM): I love him.
Her (3:59:43 PM): one of the best moments with Mr. Slappy
Her (3:59:55 PM): we were making out on his bed and i was on top about
to go down
Her (4:00:02 PM): and he had his iTunes on Genuis random
Her (4:00:08 PM): guess what comes up
Me (4:00:14 PM): Love in an Elevator?
Her (4:00:17 PM): She's so lucky...
Her (4:00:20 PM): she's a start
Me (4:00:21 PM): hahahahaha
Her (4:00:26 PM): BRITNEY SPEARS
Me (4:00:38 PM): so tacky and yet so cute
Her (4:00:41 PM): he goes...."well, there goes my boner"
Her (4:00:54 PM): i just started laughing
Her (4:00:58 PM): so he tries to change it
Me (4:00:59 PM): I love that it's on his iTunes
Her (4:01:06 PM): he tries to change it
Her (4:01:08 PM): and it goes to
Her (4:01:18 PM): When you wish upon a staaaaaaaaaaaaar
Me (4:01:26 PM): hahahahahahaha
Her (4:01:30 PM): he's like "no no no, oh god, no no no"
Me (4:01:34 PM): does he have the little Mermaid in there too?
Her (4:01:43 PM): i would fall in love if he did
Her (4:22:44 PM): "darling it's better down where it's wetter take it
from me...."
Me (4:22:52 PM): hahahahahaha
Her (4:24:15 PM): go on and kiss that girl
Her (4:24:43 PM): we can go fathoms below!
Her (4:25:45 PM): Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Me (4:25:50 PM): OMG
Me (4:25:57 PM): Alan Menken is a pervert!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Choose Your Weapon Wisely
It's a well-known fact that people use sex as a weapon, especially women. In relationships, they equate sex with control...and they use it as leverage to get what they want and as punishment for not getting their way.
Yes, sex can be about control; sometimes that is half the fun, the physical struggle for control. Yes, sometimes sex can be used as leverage; most people are not going to complain about getting laid for making a small compromise. But NO, sex should NEVER be used as a punishment; sex is supposed to be mutually beneficial and mutually enjoyable.
Did you hear that, ladies?
Let me say it again louder:
SEX IS SUPPOSED TO BE MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL AND MUTUALLY ENJOYABLE.
If it’s not, you’re doing it wrong.
Mutual, as in both parties agree to it. Forcing sex on anyone is a crime, one that happens far too often and gets punished not often enough.
I will take one minute for a Public Service Announcement:
Do you think the men trolling the internet for pussy have loving, warm, sexually evolved women waiting for them at home?* No, they have dumb frigid women like you waiting for them at home. Perhaps getting a little
dirty with your man once in a while would be good for you. Sex isn’t just for men. The more sex you have, the better you feel about yourself, the sexier you start to feel in general…which leads to more sex and a healthier relationship.
In the end, what do you hope to accomplish?
A life without sex? You're only punishing yourself, because he won't live without it forever, he'll just get it somewhere else. And if you regard sex as that much of a punishment that you would rather do without, seek counseling. Something somewhere went horrifically wrong in your programming, and you don't have to live like this.
If you are using sex as leverage, assuming he will never hold up to his end of the bargain, don’t think of it as punishment when he does. Instead, be flattered that he still WANTS to have sex with you. Psyche yourself up for it and you might even enjoy it.
*To be fair, I know it is not only women that play these games. But today I feel like addressing only the women. Maybe tomorrow I will want to address the men that play these games, to remind them that we can find cock anywhere, anytime we want...maybe.
Yes, sex can be about control; sometimes that is half the fun, the physical struggle for control. Yes, sometimes sex can be used as leverage; most people are not going to complain about getting laid for making a small compromise. But NO, sex should NEVER be used as a punishment; sex is supposed to be mutually beneficial and mutually enjoyable.
Did you hear that, ladies?
Let me say it again louder:
SEX IS SUPPOSED TO BE MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL AND MUTUALLY ENJOYABLE.
If it’s not, you’re doing it wrong.
Mutual, as in both parties agree to it. Forcing sex on anyone is a crime, one that happens far too often and gets punished not often enough.
I will take one minute for a Public Service Announcement:
Rape is a crime, period. If you have been a victim, call the Center Against Rape and Domestic Violence at 800-927-0197.Withholding sex is a wrong; it may not be a crime, but it certainly has its victims. Now cock your pretty little head to the side a little and give that sweet angelic look as you ask, “Who could it possibly be hurting?” Now I am going to cock my pretty little head to the side and smile a devilish smile as I reply, “You, bitch.”
Let’s start with the basics here. You don’t get into a relationship because you hate someone, right? So at some point, you must have loved this man you are now tormenting, right? A reasonable person could even assume that you must have had a decent sex life if you both settled down into a monogamous relationship, right? Then why the fuck are you tormenting this poor man by withholding sex now?
Do you think the men trolling the internet for pussy have loving, warm, sexually evolved women waiting for them at home?* No, they have dumb frigid women like you waiting for them at home. Perhaps getting a little
dirty with your man once in a while would be good for you. Sex isn’t just for men. The more sex you have, the better you feel about yourself, the sexier you start to feel in general…which leads to more sex and a healthier relationship. In the end, what do you hope to accomplish?
A life without sex? You're only punishing yourself, because he won't live without it forever, he'll just get it somewhere else. And if you regard sex as that much of a punishment that you would rather do without, seek counseling. Something somewhere went horrifically wrong in your programming, and you don't have to live like this.
If you are using sex as leverage, assuming he will never hold up to his end of the bargain, don’t think of it as punishment when he does. Instead, be flattered that he still WANTS to have sex with you. Psyche yourself up for it and you might even enjoy it.
*To be fair, I know it is not only women that play these games. But today I feel like addressing only the women. Maybe tomorrow I will want to address the men that play these games, to remind them that we can find cock anywhere, anytime we want...maybe.
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