Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Great Sex Shortage

It all began Thursday, March 25. I had an evening to myself and a LOT of homework to do. I dragged my ass to the local Barnes & Noble and got to work. That Accounting homework never stood a chance. My only mistake of the night? Chugging a Venti latte around 9 pm. The first night of insomnia...

The next day was my daughter's birthday dinner at Chuck E. Cheese. That place is difficult enough to take on a good day. Try it on no sleep. To boot, my doctor had started me on a new medication we will simply refer to as "Cocaine in pill form" and I took my first dose before heading over to CEC. All night, I was sweating up a storm, my eyes were schizzing around the joint and my partner-in-crime had brought a flask of vodka we were sharing. It was just like my old party days. Good times! Second night of insomnia...

Throughout the next two weeks and five days, I suffered from sleepless nights for many reasons, and none of them sex or depravity-related. Poor PSD was insanely sick during this was hectic...there was always something. By two weeks and five days I was suffering from cold sweats and hallucinations.

The exhaustion finally led to me throwing my back out. Oddly, the pain was SO severe that I was finally able to sleep. The next several days were excruciating, I could barely move. It's now been almost two weeks and I am managing the pain with Vicodin, under my doctor's care.

By now, if you are still reading, you are wondering what this post is doing on a blog where I talk (primarily) about sex...right? I have to tell you, I had to go WEEKS without sex. It was maddening. I know I used to go for much longer stretches without sex; my ex withheld sex all the time (and to this day he wonders why I cheated) but it has been so long since I have had to worry about it. How the hell do people live without it? I need feedback, I need to know!

The other reason I am posting this, so you know, is that I am high as a kite on Vicodin.