Monday, August 8, 2011

Can you have ladylike orgasms?

What is "ladylike behavior?"

I burp...I fart...I talk with food in my mouth.
Some people are offended by this.
To each his or her own.

But I also speak my mind...I don't take shit from bullies...I stand up for what I believe in.
Some people are really offended by this.
Fuck them.

Perhaps being "ladylike" was held in high regard once upon a time, but so was owning slaves.
Women have come a long way since then: we can vote, we can head huge some states we can even marry other women.

Women support themselves now.
Women support their children now.
Women even support their men now.

We have achieved equal rights in nearly every arena.
But are we still held to a double standard sexually?

I know there is an entire subculture of people who have issues with sexual relations outside marriage and for purposes other than procreation, I am not referring to them. I am talking about the rest of us: Sexually Healthy America.

Men still like to play with the whores (who doesn't?), but they don't only marry the angels.

If men only married virgins these days, there would be slim pickings out there. Science has proven that women are sexually dynamic creatures, rather than non-reactive, empty vessels designed just to carry fetuses...and we have embraced that notion. In a world that regards simplicity as a virtue, a woman who comes with a verbal instruction manual ("Touch it like this.") is a huge boon. One hundred years ago, we were still fighting for equal rights as citizens; nowadays studies are conducted at major universities, all over the world, just to find out more about our sexual needs. The word "orgasm" is no longer a dirty word, it's the golden ring prize in the sexual arena. Women don't have to suppress their sexuality to be worthy of love, sometimes they are loved for their sexuality. Without embracing our burning desire for sex, my darling husband and I never would have met. That doesn't cheapen our relationship, that honesty makes it stronger.

Can you even imagine living as people did, fifty years ago, unable to speak openly about what you enjoy in bed? Can you imagine saying "no" to someone you really like when you want to say "yes" with every fiber of your being...because of social norms? Can you imagine marrying someone before you have found out if you are even sexually compatible, because "ladies don't do that?"

Is ladylike behavior in danger of extinction or shall we redefine it to fit today's woman? Perhaps today's lady is someone who can conduct herself with dignity in public but is a master of dirty talk in private. Perhaps today's lady is someone full of honor and integrity in the workplace but is a vixen with a kinky streak in the bedroom.

How are you redefining ladylike behavior?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Mary Roach: 10 things you didn't know about orgasm

1.) You were having sex in the womb
2.) You don’t need genitals
3.) You can have them when you are dead
4.) Orgasm can cause bad breath
5.) Orgasm can cure hiccups
6.) Doctors once prescribed orgasm for fertility
7.) Pig farmers still prescribed orgasm for fertility
8.) Female animals are more fun than you think
9.) Studying human orgasm in a lab is not easy
10.) But it sure is entertaining

One of my favorite quotes from the whole book:
"Cheese crumbs spread before a pair of copulating rats will distract the female, but not the male."