Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Freak Flag

Why do people cheat?

For sex...yes.
For affection...yes.
To feel desired...yes.

Why do people need those things outside the confines of their relationship?
My guess would be that the relationship is lacking them somehow.

It's not a blame thing...it's not an exoneration thing...it's just a fact.
Some people are just not meant to be together.

I cheated for a number of reasons. My ex was the first man I ever let my Freak Flag fly with, but once we got married it was all "You're my wife now, I can't do that with you." No one likes a limp Freak Flag drooping in the wind, a Freak Flag is meant to fly.

Affair sex is free and exciting. You can do whatever you want, because who's going to judge you? The other unhappily married person in the room who is currently balls deep inside you? Probably not because (a) that would be slightly hypocritical and (b) then you probably won't be rushing to meet him at the local La Quinta Inn on your lunch break for much longer.

But affairs are complicated, and unless you end up in a long-term extramarital relationship, the sex is never fulfilling enough. It's like a drug - you're always chasing that high.

What's the point, Fyre?

I'm getting there...chill baby baby chill...

Some people are never meant to be monogamous, this is true. They will never be happy in a traditional monogamous relationship, they will always cheat...which goes back to my earlier point about some people not meaning to be together.

But some of us are great in the right relationship.
Some of us thrive in the right relationship.

My Freak Flag has found a permanent home and he planted his right next to mine. I am not lacking affection and sex. I am having affair sex in my marriage, which is the best possible combination for me.


Friday, August 22, 2014

Day 6: Sex Facts

In honor of Day 6, here are 6 facts about sex:

  • Spouses may have similar DNA 
  • Watching rom-coms may help strengthen marriage 
  • Women can make their voice "sexier," but men can't 
  • You’re less likely to get grossed out when aroused (thank goodness) 
  • Love is good for your bones (I know one "bone" it's great for!) 
  • Old people do it, too (oh GAWD, am I considered old now???) 
Read more here.

30 Days of Intimacy Recap (with lots of GIFs)

We began August 1 and had a great run until I got sick...then he went away for business and it was all over...

So we began again this week.

And overall it's been a great week.

Because sex makes people happy.

And we are both happier than usual. So I asked him if he thinks this has been a positive experience...

And then I was all...

And so now I need to go take a shower.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Day 3: Why I Smile

I climb into bed, exhausted and ready to play Angry Birds until I pass out...but Mr. Swinging Dick has a different plan for me.

*cue the sex music on Pandora*
(yes, we have a sex music channel on Pandora)

And I'm all:

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Starting Over: Day 2

My challenge, my rules.

Day 2 was full of flirty instant messages:
Him: What's the plan for tonight?
Me: More of the sex, please.

I know how to talk dirty to him.

You know how when you roll into bed at the end of the night and you are so tired you cannot even think about anything at all but you still kiss your lover and you both smile and next thing you know you're both naked and there's lube everywhere and you're having sex? That.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Day 6 through a fucking (non-fucking) eternity...

Day 6: still sick
Day 7: still sick
Day 8: still sick and irrationally angry about something - I swear it was the fever speaking
Day 9: fuck if I even remember if we did anything...
Day 10: he left for NYC

He comes back from NYC, we get one good rogerin' in and I get my period.

*throws hands in air*

Fast forward to yesterday, which would have been day 17 if he had not gone away (circumstances out of my control!) but which we shall now and forever more refer to as Day One Redo...

At the risk of sounding hopelessly sappy...every time we finally do it after even just a few days of not doing it, it's so good. I don't know if my vajayjay is just so happy to see him or what, but it's OMGasmic. And that was last night...

This morning he gets up for work, I continue to lie in the bed like the lazy ass that I am. I guess my nightgown had accidentally (totally on purpose) ridden up, exposing my derrière...which he usually cannot resist. Usually/always - we are spending forever together, does it matter?

He comes back into the room, rolls me over gently and grabs the lube. It's been awhile - like before I got pregnant - so it's a little snug. He fumbles a bit and I suggest a different angle. He replies with a grunt and more lube.

"I don't think more lube is the answer. It's a question of angle."

I get another grunt and more lube...but he does switch the angle...AND WE HAVE ACHIEVED PENETRATION!

Every one of my orifices is greedy, I admit it. Once it's in, I want it all the way in.

"Deeper. HARDER!" I urge.

I always orgasm hard and fast from anal sex, so it never lasts long, and today was no exception...but any Monday morning that begins with sex is a winner. A Monday morning that begins with anal sex is special.

Why does anal sex lead to more orgasms? I Googled that for you, dear readers:
Why Do Women Who Have Anal Sex Get More Orgasms?

Bonus content: I will be terrified to fart for the rest of the day.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Day 5: Fucking germs

By the time he got home last night, I had been infected by whatever my sick kids brought home.

I wasn't going to risk his health by making out with him, so we cuddled and talked about our day. It was nice and we got our intimacy in, just us shutting out the world for a little while...I just wish we hadn't wasted National Underwear Day like that...