Starting Over: Day 2

My challenge, my rules.

Day 2 was full of flirty instant messages:
Him: What's the plan for tonight?
Me: More of the sex, please.

I know how to talk dirty to him.

You know how when you roll into bed at the end of the night and you are so tired you cannot even think about anything at all but you still kiss your lover and you both smile and next thing you know you're both naked and there's lube everywhere and you're having sex? That.

Is it me or my swinging dick?

Me: I have to work tomorrow
Me: but I will probably leave early
Me: we can clean the house up
Me: and fuck?
PSD: someone is in need of my swinging dick.
Me: maybe
Me: maybe I just need to feel close to you more than I need your cock
Me: you'll never know
Me: I am an enigma
PSD: either way you get what you want.
Me: I know

I have learned a valuable lesson...

When I want to post pictures of ugly cocks on my blog from now on, I will save and upload the photos. So many of the pictures I linked to have been removed.

I'm sad. Nothing makes me happier than ragging on an ugly cock pic.

Hard up -- Is that a bad thing?

I swear, that is the tagline that prefaces the profile that features this photo:






Does that cock look hard up to you?






Oh, and it gets better...he features three other limp cock photos taken outdoors.

What's that?

You want to see?


Evidently, he's a tree lover.
I love an environmentally conscious man.

One of my fave photos so far

There are so many things to make fun of here, where shall I begin?
The accompanying e-mail was kind of boring with plenty of spelling errors, which I found rather ridiculous for someone who claims to be pursuing a Masters degree, but let's stick to the photo.

Have you ever bought a roast that was tied with a string from the butcher? That's what I think about when I look at this.

Then there are the random, loose iPod and power cables; are they that difficult to move out of the way?

What these men don't seem to understand is this, this initial contact needs to impress us if you want to get any further. Nothing about this mess of a scene screams "Hop on board!" to me.

How is this picture enticing?

It looks like there is shit on his cock.
Yes, this is his main profile picture. *shaking head*

Dear lord, it's an epidemic!

Limp cocks everywhere!

As if to prove my point...

I click to post my last post, go to check my messages and see this on the home page.

This is not going to impress anyone. Don't post it!

Post your smiling face as your main picture...not your limp cock!!!

My opinion of "Unsolicited Cock Pics"

Men are more visual than women, you show them tits, they get a boner. It's very simple for them.

Women are a bit more complicated. We don't usually care about the penis (unless there's something wrong with it) as much as the person it's attached to. Yet, so many men don't seem to realize this and post nothing BUT penis pictures.

WRONG TACTIC, BOYS.

One of the guys I met through AFF is very intelligent and educated, having studied in the field of sexual research. He happens to be adorably cute and good in bed too, but that's not where I was going with this. We were talking about what attracts people to certain profiles and what qualities people look for, and I mentioned that I liked that he didn't have any cock pics. He smiled and said, "That's because I understand women."

That's why he usually scores. Take notes, UCP Posting Men.

[The term Unsolicited Cock Pics was coined by my friend, Jackie.]