Sunday, December 27, 2009

New Toy

My sister and I recently hosted a Passion Party. Oddly enough, our friends are as nuts as we are, especially when we feed them booze. All in all, it was a great night. I got to hang out with my mother and discuss G-spots with her. I also got to rub some tingly cream on my friend's clit and then we all took turns hitting one another with riding crops and paddles. Of course, we waited until my mother had left for that, she's not THAT liberal and I'm not THAT twisted.

Our representative said most of her parties' orders total $300-$400; our party's orders totaled $800+ before she left. And we got additional orders. We rock.

PSD likes incorporating toys in our sex life, so I had an idea of what I wanted to get us. A friend, years ago, had this cool contraption. I had seen it in the catalog at another party and decided it must be mine (and his). Our order came in last Thursday, Christmas Eve, just in time for our kid-free weekend. Being Jewish, we had nothing to open Christmas morning...except our new toy. Like the perverted children we are, we couldn't wait to rip the package open.

Let me take a moment to explain the Dark Knight (that's actually the name) to you. The description from their website says: Your superhero. Simultaneous scrotum, erection and clitoral stimulation. Multi-speed. Waterproof. Removable bullet. Three watch size batteries included. The bullet goes through the top so the whole thing vibrates. He slips it on like a cock ring, then pulls the second loop back over his balls. The top protrusion rubs your clit while that tiny one tickles your asshole.

He slipped it over his cock and started fucking me. At one point he asked me how it felt, I believe I moaned and smacked his ass. We did notice that it was even juicier than usual down there, indicating that my pussy was enjoying it, too. The protrusion was not enough to make me cum, but it got me close enough one quick flick of my wrist took care of it.

Our review: we like our new toy.

Later that afternoon I was in the shower and PSD was in the bathroom talking to me. That was when he told me that he hadn't used the ball holster (what else would you call it?) when we used it earlier. He became determined to use it as its fine creators intended, so he attempted it again. This time he was successful and told me, "Let's go...right now!" I barely had time to dry myself off, let alone get myself revved up. Is it weird that so many times in my life I have said, "Thank goodness for Astroglide" to myself?

His review: it wasn't that much different, even with the ball sling.

Amusing anecdote: as soon as he emptied those balls, it slipped right off and smacked me in the ass.

*sweeping the cobwebs up*

It's been awhile, I know.

In my last post, I had written about Preschool Dad. Fast forward ten months and we are still dating. Dating plus spending pretty much every waking moment together and most of our sleeping moments, too. I've been lazy, but in my defense, I have been very busy being happy and having a lot of extremely satisfying sex. Just being happy is a HUGE task, so don't judge me too harshly.

Most of my posts (had I written any) the past ten months would have nauseated you anyway. They would have had titles like "How PSD Told Me 'I Love You'" and "Fyre and PSD on Vacation!" I spared you readers the agony of retching while reading sweet tales of birthday surprises and mushy pillow talk.

So now I must rededicate this blog to my relationship. Yes, I said took me many many many months to admit that is what this is. It will be damn near impossible to dedicate it to the usual topics as his is the only cock I'm getting (and I am not complaining). Unless you have an IQ under 25 or are tripping on serious amounts of acid, blank pink blog pages are no fun at all.

Having said that, I'm still me. I promise not to make it a blog full of posts titled "My Heart is So Full of Love Today" but rather "My Ass is So Sore Today!" Let's face it, PSD loves me, so he doesn't mind me sharing the really personal stuff...I think.

He read the blog before he fell in love, so he was warned.