Sunday, October 24, 2010

My Life: The Porno

I've always said that my life story is best suited to a cartoon, silly and full of colorful characters. The truth is, it's probably best suited to a porno. Silliness and colorful characters translate to porno...but all this sex would just be creepy as a cartoon.

Some of the highlights...think of it as a teaser trailer for the movie.
  • I had an affair with a married man. One night he called and detoured me while I was en route to a first date. I met him at his office, where he fucked me and then sent me off to meet my date. I spent the entire dinner making idle chit-chat about who-knows-what with proof of his "love" making a pool in my panties.
  • One gorgeous winter evening, a date and I were bar-hopping through downtown, wandering in and out of dark, hidden areas designed for kissing and groping. We went to the roof of a parking garage for a better vantage point of the city and to enjoy the beautiful weather. We ended up having sex out in the open, standing up in one of the parking spaces. Twice.
  • I went out with a friend and his girlfriend one evening. We got home late, a little tipsy...and at least two of us were very horny. If you guessed that I was one of the two, you are correct. I climbed into bed next to him, and we had anal sex in front of his girlfriend, who simply watched from the other side of the bed.
My mind is all over the place. Current events, cooking, work, school, a vacation that's still 9 month away, it never ends. My brain never shuts off...but it has one constant: sex. Sometimes I joke that I should be a teenaged boy, I think about sex so much. If we have ever met, I have given at least a moment's thought to how you kiss or what you'd be like in bed.

Having sex always on my mind does have its benefits, such as the ability to go from 0-60 in about three seconds. Maybe this is the reason that life as part of a committed couple is just as hot, if not hotter sometimes, than single life. We live together, we trust one another...there is no more wooing necessary. We don't have to be on our best behavior for the kids anymore. And if I am almost always ready to go, imagine the possibilities.

It's not at all uncommon to find myself bent over the washing machine while the kids play outside for a few minutes. I was up at 4:45 am and started planning this blog post in my mind, by 5:10 I had to wake him up for sex. More than once, I have been rudely interrupted by a cock pressing against me while I was washing the dishes. I commented to a friend that I have had sex more times this month than I did in 2005...and we're closing in on 2005 and 2006 combined.

My porno would definitely not be an AVN award-winning porno, it would be underappreciated in its time. Most likely, it would be just campy enough to become a cult classic. There have been some amazingly hot experiences in my life, but there have been just as many goofy experiences. What makes it porno-worthy is my ability to own my sexuality. I don't hide from my sexuality. I pepper my conversations with innuendo, I relate sexual anecdotes as easily as anecdotes about my daughter and I probably make a lot of people uncomfortable. Some people would call me brazen, but it's just honesty...I believe it's natural, normal and healthy to feel this way.

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