Eliminating Mr. Right-Now

Recently, while chatting with Sexy Bitch about men and sex and relationships, I realized something...I didn't go on a lot of third dates. Hell, I barely went on second dates. Perhaps this portion of our exchange might offer some clues:

Her: I had the rebound

the awkward tryst

time for the confidence booster

Me: Oh, I miss those

not awkward trysts

the first time things

that split second, right before someone new penetrates you for the first time

before you realize he's a disappointment, too

*sigh*

I have never believed in wasting my time on anything. I don't subscribe to the idea of Mr. Right-Now. If you're not a potential Mr. Right, why should I waste my time with you? That's what fuckbuddies are for, to take care of those needs without wasting time or interfering in the hunt for Mr. Right.

First dates are easy; you meet somewhere, it's awkward and you make a snap decision about the second date right then and there. I walked into my date with 23 prepared to bail as early as possible, but it went well. There was a second date, a real date, with dinner and everything. But once we started having sex, there were only hookups.

That is what usually happened. They either fell into the hookup category or the friends with bennies category. There were no more dates, there was no more pretense. My motto: You want to fuck me, I want to fuck you...let's not waste my valuable time.

My first date with The Traveling Jew went very well. The next time he came to town, I went to his hotel to pick him up and ended up putting out as well. To his credit, he took me out for a nice dinner afterward. But then he made a tragic mistake, he held my hand as we walked back to the car and then wanted to cuddle after sex we had sex again. Aaaand, the nice guy has been eliminated from the competition. Thank you for playing, sir.

So what set some men apart?

Wow, I'd love to have some amazingly cool answer that makes you blush, but I don't. Who survived the longest? The only ones that made it to third dates were Brady Bunch, Clothespin and PSD. Brady Bunch and I had gone to the same school, knew the same people and had daughters the same age. Clothespin and I had a ton of similar interests, ranging from photography to Battlestar Galactica. PSD and I were just about the same person and had too many things in common to count. So, even in my quest to broaden my sexual horizons and conquer the male race, I ended up with the people who had the most in common with me.

At my ball-busting best, the idea of cuddling or holding hands horrified me. It's not that I stopped believing in love, but my tough-girl persona scorned the idea of mushiness with just "some guy." But maybe, it wasn't me, it was them...they were just the wrong guys.

When Clothespin grabbed my hand on our way into the restaurant on our first date, I didn't punch him, I didn't even think about it. And looking back, PSD held my hand on our first date...and we snuggled a little after we had sex...and I even contemplated spending the night...all that first night. I had no clue he was Mr. Right, but I knew he had Mr. Right potential.

And after I met him, there were some more first dates; but that's all they were.

I set up our second date, via text, while I was on a first date with someone else.

Tacky? Maybe.

Worth it? Definitely.