Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Performance vs. Passion

Male friend: Oh, I'd bang the hell out of her. She's such a spinner.
Me: But she doesn't seem like she'd be passionate.
Male friend: Huh?
Me: *sigh*

I would like to go on record as saying this: Sex is not only about technique.
If you don't know what I am talking about, I feel for you.

Think back on the best sexual experience you have ever had.
Did it seem as smooth as a carefully edited porno?
Or was it wild, crazy and a little bit sloppy?
God, I hope for your sake you picked the second one...if not, you are missing out. 

Perfection is never boring <@> (that is the Snark Mark, which indicates the prior comment was said sarcastically). Who wouldn't want a carefully scripted sexual encounter <@> (let's just assume that everything I say has a hint of snark and leave it at that)? It's so gratifying to know exactly what is coming, how you're supposed to react to it and how long it is going to last. Then you can practice your fake O face in front of the mirror in your free time.

I had sex with someone once, someone I had wanted to fuck for a long time. Afterward, I was gossiping with a girlfriend and she asked how it was. When I said it was good, she asked me "just good?" So I explained to her that technically I had been properly fucked...but there was no spark, no passion. Yes, he knew which hole to put it in, he knew exactly how hard to thrust, yes I got off and that was about it.

The difference between good sex and great sex is that spark. It is the difference between knowing exactly how hard to thrust and pushing it just a teensy bit further because you are lost in the sensations. It is the impulse to kiss, gnaw, bite, claw and wrap yourself around your partner. It is the difference between looking like a sweaty yet satisfied mess and looking like a perfectly coiffed yet bored to death porn star. It is the impulse to pull hair, smack asses and collapse into a completely satiated puddle at the end, screaming, "Fuck the dismount!"

That moment when you give yourself over to the feeling, when you stop worrying about how you look, if you're doing it right, what anyone thinks and you are just IN the moment...THAT is the passion I am talking about. 

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