The Wonderful World of AFF

I begin asking friends where I can go to meet some fun people and more than one dear friend mentions Adult Friend Finder to me. Adult Friend Finder claims right on the front page "Get laid tonight." Interesting site. I join.

They offer a wonderful tool to help you write your profile, if you don't know what to say about yourself. Their questionnaire is very thorough (more about that soon) and it's quite easy to make a decent looking profile. It's idiot-proof, which poses a problem with idiots comprising a large percentage of the people writing you. I'll be happy to share some examples with you, don't worry.

Girls, prepare to be inundated with requests.

I have settled on a screening process that works very well for me:

1. Age: Too old, you get deleted...too young, you get deleted. I admit that more than once I have been bored enough to check a profile of someone who falls outside my accepted age range and ended up replying to them, but it's rare.
2. Marital status: If you're married, you get deleted.
3. Circumcision: Whomever decided to make this a profile question is a fucking genius. My thought process about this is: why would I bother to speak to someone who is not circumcised on the off chance I end up really liking them...knowing I would never touch their penis? If your answer is no, or if you decline to answer, you get deleted.
4. Spelling, grammar, etc.: Before I even read the e-mail they sent, I check the profile for the glaring signs of illiteracy and stupidity. For instance, and in this case I didn't have to view the profile (although I did for funsies), because his screen name said it all: laitnlover3# (I debated posting his entire screen name, but decided to leave off the last digit for anonymity). Seriously, if you cannot even spell your own screen name, how much faith can I have in your other abilities, like the ability to find the right hole?
5. Messages: Finally, we've eliminated a lot of potential candidates, thank goodness. Now I move onto the actual messages. Plenty of people seem to have actually read my profile, nice. Oh look, this guy is looking for a soulmate, try Match.com, dude. Some of them send out generic form letters that would apply to any woman anywhere, F for effort. Then some of them are just...well, take a look:
   

   

   Hello, let me eat your pussy. you won't regreat it. what do you think?

   
   
   Well, the first thing I think is that you should learn to spell check. And what's with the Greyhound self-portrait?

I guess I should share my profile at this point, so you understand how clear I am being up front about what I want:

I've always been good at turning nothing into something great. When I'm out driving I like to blow down the freeway as fast as I can...it's how I live my whole life. I get along best with people who can talk about something besides sex or sports. When I go out, I go with the flow, and end up where I end up. When I'm at home alone, I'm calling up friends who want to cure their boredom with me. I look forward to whatever life brings. I can be whatever you need me to be, as long as we're both comfortable with it and both having fun with it.
I'm not changing my life, I'm just trying to make it more interesting.

If you contact me bear in mind that I'm just looking for a fuck buddy, not a soulmate.
My Ideal Person:
If you are married, don't waste either of our time...I am NOT interested.
I am not looking for random sex with strangers, a fuck buddy is a friend you fuck.

I will admit that there are a large number of intelligent, funny and good-looking people on this site. I have met some, it's just a question of properly screening them.