Again, I am working under an assumption here.
My assumption is this: we cheat because we are lacking something, some basic need is not being met and we seek that fulfillment elsewhere. We can agree on this, correct?
I have seen this scenario time and time again, and it confounds the ever-living fuck out of me. You're a married person lacking passion in your relationship...you meet a free-spirited singleton...an affair that defines to word passion ensues...you fall in love...singleton falls in love...you then begin trying to de-spirit the free-spirit to make them conform a little more to your world...WHAT? Why, for fuck's sake, would you attempt to change them into the very thing you were trying to escape in the first place?
My ex had a girlfriend before we split up. She was a few years younger than us, never married, no kids and anti-responsibility. Her wardrobe varied from Old Navy chic to thrift store bohemian and she relished being a beach bum. When I met her, I laughed at my ex-husband and said, "You fucking idiot...she's me, before you ruined me."
During our years together, he made it his mission to "toughen me up" by removing my rose-tinted glasses and showing me the bitter side of life (he never succeeded). His other mission was to class me up; he hated the bohemian styles I favored in college, and constantly bought me new clothes. I never even owned a designer purse before he bought me one, and he bought me several. Amusingly enough, once we were married, his biggest complaint was that I was a "money-grubbing" bitch with expensive taste.
Much to my delight, he bought her a Coach purse a few months later.
Oh, self-fulfilling prophecies...how I love you so.
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