As I sit on the precipice of the next stage of my life (more about that later), it seems prudent to reflect upon what I have learned since the last stage of my life
Never Settle
Silent resentment is the #1 killer of relationships; also, 42% of statistics are made up on-the-spot. But seriously, why would you settle? If you don't chase your dreams, who will?
Don't Break For Someone Who Isn't Willing to Bend For You
Nothing in the world is as valuable as your own sanity and your own security. Never sacrifice that for anyone; that's not love, that's not even friendship. You deserve better, I don't care what who you are or what you've done...you deserve better.
Put Yourself Out There
This isn't really something new, but it always bears repeating. I have never been a "sit back and wait for life" kind of girl, but this has never been more important than in the last two years. Your life fell apart...boo-fucking-hoo. Now are you going to sit on the couch eating Cheetos and waiting for something good to meander by, or are you going to go out, seize life by the studded collar and make something good come to you? That's a no-brainer for me, because I would never eat Cheetos (the artificial color horrifies me). Meeting PSD was certainly a wonderful gift from the Universe, but would that have ever happened if I wasn't out there, seeking something?
Newsflash, folks. No one is just naturally lucky at life. All good things are the result of positive thinking, meeting people, networking and a lot of hard work.
Embrace Change
In the past year, I have been fortunate enough to have fallen into a circle of friends; one of them, a witty intelligent woman who has also had life-altering changes in her life within the past couple of years. I like to think this was no accident as we have much in common (aside from all being beautiful and Jewish) and can borrow so much from one another. Some would call it fate, but I like to call it Universal Design.
When we stop fighting and just sit down and shut the fuck up, the Universe has an amazingly uncanny ability to deliver just what we need. I like to think the evolution of my relationship with Clothespin was no accident, it was exactly how it was supposed to happen. The transition from sleazy hookup to genuine friendship to quasi-relationship opened my heart back up. This allowed me to make the small leap from quasi-relationship to what PSD and I share today.
In the past two years, I have let a vast variety of people into my life and have been rewarded in ways I could never have before imagined.
The Karma of “Do Unto Others”
This is the biggie. I am sure PSD had his doubts about me, at some point...and I don’t blame him. My Unapologetically Me strategy involves blunt honesty, so he knows my past. We even had a talk when we became exclusive, about my fears of monotony, errr...monogamy, and why I can’t imagine myself sleeping with just one man for the rest of my life. And this is where Irony kicks in (we’ll talk about her cousin, Karma, in just a bit)...because since that talk, since he told me he understood and was willing to explore options together, I haven’t even thought about another man like that. Crazy, right? What my single gal explorations had taught me (go back and read the entries, people...stop being lazy) was that I did not cheat on my husband because I needed sex that badly, it was affection and understanding I needed. Zoom back to PSD, and I have the whole package: love, understanding, more affection than I know what to do with and an amazingly fulfilling sex life. Does that mean we can’t spend the rest of our lives exploring sexual avenues together? NO! It does mean that I won’t need to look elsewhere for what I need, because I have it all.
What does this have to do with Karma and “Do Unto Others?” Recently, a former lover asked why my morals had shifted so far, I replied, “PSD is a great guy, he doesn’t deserve that.” It hadn’t even hit me until that moment; in the back of my head, every time I cheated on my ex, I knew in the back of my head, he DID deserve it...and each time it was a giant passive-aggressive FUCK YOU. It took me eight long years to get to that point. Eight years of him fooling around with other girls and then “coming clean” to me. Eight years of forgetting to come home because he was high somewhere with God-knows-who doing God-knows-what. Eight years of him making me feel like shit for having the humanity to find other men attractive, even though I never let another man even kiss me [Untrue; once, someone did kiss me. I laid him out with one punch right after.] while he openly stared at and commented upon women he saw. The first time I cheated on him, it was revenge, plain and simple. Then it just became a drug after that; he would make me feel bad, I would get my high. I never felt bad because I knew, in my heart, he would do it to me, too. I was just evening the score. Karma isn’t a bitch, friends...she is a nasty cunt who is PMSing and has no chocolate. That’s the reason my ex is still alone and stalking me like the rancid psycho he is, while I have been lucky enough to find someone who loves me, adores me and most importantly, understands me.
"Why the somber, yet enlightening reflection? Are you dying, Fyre?"
No, even better! PSD and I are moving in together at the end of the month. We have found our own house to begin our life together.
Nothing in the world is as valuable as your own sanity and your own security. Never sacrifice that for anyone; that's not love, that's not even friendship. You deserve better, I don't care what who you are or what you've done...you deserve better.
Put Yourself Out There
This isn't really something new, but it always bears repeating. I have never been a "sit back and wait for life" kind of girl, but this has never been more important than in the last two years. Your life fell apart...boo-fucking-hoo. Now are you going to sit on the couch eating Cheetos and waiting for something good to meander by, or are you going to go out, seize life by the studded collar and make something good come to you? That's a no-brainer for me, because I would never eat Cheetos (the artificial color horrifies me). Meeting PSD was certainly a wonderful gift from the Universe, but would that have ever happened if I wasn't out there, seeking something?
Newsflash, folks. No one is just naturally lucky at life. All good things are the result of positive thinking, meeting people, networking and a lot of hard work.
Embrace Change
In the past year, I have been fortunate enough to have fallen into a circle of friends; one of them, a witty intelligent woman who has also had life-altering changes in her life within the past couple of years. I like to think this was no accident as we have much in common (aside from all being beautiful and Jewish) and can borrow so much from one another. Some would call it fate, but I like to call it Universal Design.
When we stop fighting and just sit down and shut the fuck up, the Universe has an amazingly uncanny ability to deliver just what we need. I like to think the evolution of my relationship with Clothespin was no accident, it was exactly how it was supposed to happen. The transition from sleazy hookup to genuine friendship to quasi-relationship opened my heart back up. This allowed me to make the small leap from quasi-relationship to what PSD and I share today.
In the past two years, I have let a vast variety of people into my life and have been rewarded in ways I could never have before imagined.
The Karma of “Do Unto Others”
This is the biggie. I am sure PSD had his doubts about me, at some point...and I don’t blame him. My Unapologetically Me strategy involves blunt honesty, so he knows my past. We even had a talk when we became exclusive, about my fears of monotony, errr...monogamy, and why I can’t imagine myself sleeping with just one man for the rest of my life. And this is where Irony kicks in (we’ll talk about her cousin, Karma, in just a bit)...because since that talk, since he told me he understood and was willing to explore options together, I haven’t even thought about another man like that. Crazy, right? What my single gal explorations had taught me (go back and read the entries, people...stop being lazy) was that I did not cheat on my husband because I needed sex that badly, it was affection and understanding I needed. Zoom back to PSD, and I have the whole package: love, understanding, more affection than I know what to do with and an amazingly fulfilling sex life. Does that mean we can’t spend the rest of our lives exploring sexual avenues together? NO! It does mean that I won’t need to look elsewhere for what I need, because I have it all.
What does this have to do with Karma and “Do Unto Others?” Recently, a former lover asked why my morals had shifted so far, I replied, “PSD is a great guy, he doesn’t deserve that.” It hadn’t even hit me until that moment; in the back of my head, every time I cheated on my ex, I knew in the back of my head, he DID deserve it...and each time it was a giant passive-aggressive FUCK YOU. It took me eight long years to get to that point. Eight years of him fooling around with other girls and then “coming clean” to me. Eight years of forgetting to come home because he was high somewhere with God-knows-who doing God-knows-what. Eight years of him making me feel like shit for having the humanity to find other men attractive, even though I never let another man even kiss me [Untrue; once, someone did kiss me. I laid him out with one punch right after.] while he openly stared at and commented upon women he saw. The first time I cheated on him, it was revenge, plain and simple. Then it just became a drug after that; he would make me feel bad, I would get my high. I never felt bad because I knew, in my heart, he would do it to me, too. I was just evening the score. Karma isn’t a bitch, friends...she is a nasty cunt who is PMSing and has no chocolate. That’s the reason my ex is still alone and stalking me like the rancid psycho he is, while I have been lucky enough to find someone who loves me, adores me and most importantly, understands me.
"Why the somber, yet enlightening reflection? Are you dying, Fyre?"
No, even better! PSD and I are moving in together at the end of the month. We have found our own house to begin our life together.
Imagine the possibilities!
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